Christmas....past.

Christmas.... 2010.....
I'm not sure....
but I think... this is when Rudolph climbed in The Tree.....
: )
John and I...have put this Tree up.... since 2000....
It's a 12 foot Tree....
and... quite a Task..... to put up... light....and decorate.
{we put on...over two thousand lights....}
: )
John.... has always put it up....
{I help... but follow his.... 'direction'....
 {putting Up.... and...Taking Down. : ) }
then... I Play. : )
There were a few years... for one reason, or another.... I told him.... we should...just let it go....
my heart.... wasn't in it....
Then.... I'd come Home....
and there it would be....
all set up.... and lit. : )
John.... knew... how much... Christmas meant...to me.....
even.... when.... my 'heart'...wasn't in it'.... : )
Our tradition.... was putting it up...the day after Thanksgiving....
always....
This year.... not so much.
I...struggle.... with it... the thought.....of it.
The Kids... said...they will come, and help....
There is a Big... part of me... that says.... "My Heart.... Isn't In It".....
but... for the Kids....
and Grand Kids....
I...know... we have to.
This year... has been all about 'The Firsts'.....
as I told my Friend, Lynn.... the other night.....
"If we don't put up The Tree....this year... Next Year... will,.... be 'The First'...."
you can't run away... from it.
I went to Target... tonight.... and picked up the Lights... for The Tree.....
A young man... who was helping bag..... said....
 "So...do you think you have Enough Lights??? : ) "
I bought 24 packages... of 100.....
I...said....
"I...hope so".... : )
then.... began to weep.....
I tried so Hard.... to hold back the tears.....
but...
I...couldn't.....
oh my.....
{I apologized to the Sweet Cashier.... I...simply...couldn't help myself.....
there was No Way.... I could bring myself...to attention... no way..... }
John always wanted to see The Tree.... in Blue.....
{I... couldn't do it...... I...simply... couldn't....}
if... it goes up....this year....
It Shall Be.
Yes...
This... will be....
a
Blue....
 Blue....
Christmas.

Christmas...2012.
The Carousel Horse... came Home.
oh my.....
I wasn't happy about that Horse..... when John...bought it.
Things... were so 'tight'...... and.... I simply couldn't understand.....
why....
he would buy that 'Horse'....
{but.... I said... nothing... to him. }
well....
it was for me....
John knew... how much... I loved it.....
so.... he bought it!
{I...worry...soooo.... about bills.... }
The fact is... the price of the Horse.... wouldn't make us... or...break us.
I said very little.... to John.... about my 'worries'.........
I knew... somehow... we'd find a way....
Today....
if Polly and I... wind up...in a cardboard box.... somewhere.....
The Horse... will be with....
I'd take an Axe to it... and burn it...for firewood.... to warm us..... before....I'd sell it.
That's... just the way.... it is.

Christmas.... 2013.

Rudy... had Lot's of Company... last year.....
I added The Hatter's Hat.... {Liz had found...}
The Old Silhouette Running Horse.... Weathervane.....
a....Cello.... as well....
{It was falling apart.... and John... carefully.... mended it.... }
oh my.....
This Tree was quite a sight.
: )

I had found a License Plate... with John's Birth Year.... and added it... last year.....
: )

2013.... the Old Sandbox...Toy Trucks.... found their way... into our Tree....
Memories....
They reminded me...of Dad... and John... {and... myself.... : ) }
Lord...Lord... we have owned.... driven...worked... and Loved.... some Wonderful...
Old Trucks....
over the years....
: )

yeah.... I kind of... Blow... Christmas... Off The Charts.....
I...don't know why....
I...never had much... of it growing up.....
oh my....
yet....
I have Always.... Loved It.
The Magic..... of it....
 When I moved out... on my own....
'Christmas'.... was Big....{as 'Big'... as I could afford. }
{a little 4 foot tree.... <3 }
I was 15.... and my Best Friend, Dolsey...
 {my Beloved.... Great Dane... {rescued.... <3 }
and I... sat.... and stared.... at our First... Christmas Tree....  all night.... Christmas Eve. : )
{Well.... not all night..... Dolsey and I...went to give the Horses a Special Christmas Ration.... about Midnight....
Gave each one of them... a Squeeze.....too.... : ) : ) : )
then... when we went to go home..... the old... Chevy....Truck... wouldn't start.
So.... as it sleeted... and the wind... howled....
Dolsey and I walked..... about 6 miles.... Home.
{a Drunk... pulled over...threw the passenger door open.....
 {on the Snow and Ice... covered road....}
 asked me... if I wanted a ride....
I smiled... and said... "No Thanks.....I live.... right there..... : ) "....
pointing towards a house... with several lights on....
I didn't.... we lived another 5 miles.... up the road.
Poor Dolsey..... oh my.... she and I Both.... shivered...
I had just thrown on a light denim jacket..... and Dolsey.... was a 'Home...Girl'. : ) Short Hair......
: )
But.... we made it....
and...
'Home'... felt much Warmer....
 Cozier....
beside...the little tree....
than it had.... when we left.
oh my....
Christmas... past.
oh...my.
Love to ya....
Barb C.