Blessings....

I...sat this morning....

at the Old Table....

{only me...and Harold...could love... {and Ed. }

Sipping my coffee....

my...

'Drug of Choice'... for the day.

It's strong... and sweet....

and what gets me moving....

I glanced over my shoulder...

where Liz has organized the bills... and paperwork....

and...all..

the Beautiful... Cards.

I, have moments... when I can open a few of them....

the 'moments' have been few, and far between....

This morning....

I began opening them....all...

oh my.....

They are...so Beautiful....

I'm sorry....I haven't replied to them....

as many were sent.... just after John went 'Home'....

I...Promise... I will....

One...after other... touched me... so very much.

I shed many tears... while reading the Beautiful...words.... Folks.... had written.

oh my...

I'll have them, out..... and share them... with everyone... on Saturday.....

Liz and I...worked outside... yesterday....

and are working both, inside...and out... today.

We are getting things...pulled together...

slowly.....

Words...can't express... how I feel....

I'm beyond... tired... 'tired'... was something I felt... last year.

I played the song 'Hurt'... by Johnny Cash... last night....

over...and over...

I always thought...I understood it....

and... admired, the talent of the writer....

and Cash's performance... 

that... I believe... was much more fact, than fiction...

But... it wasn't until, last night... 

I really... 

'Got It'...

There is a place.... where you feel... nothing....

no... anger...

no...sadness...

no...worry...

no... happiness...

and... even... when you injure yourself...

feel...little...or no pain.

no...

 'hurt'...

I have referred to it...as being...

'Numb'

it's far deeper than that....

it's 

'Paralyzation'...

yet...somehow... can still...

function...

{during the day... }

It... is a Blessing... 

I have decided.

Yet... I hope... none of you....

are ever this... Blessed.

My heart...weeps... for the writer....

Love to you...

Barb C.